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Of Midsummer Nights and Unicorns [1/2]
Title: Of Midsummer Nights and Unicorns
Pairing: Daehyun/Youngjae
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 11.7k
Summary: IN WHICH DAEHYUN IS A UNICORN
A/N: written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kiwi_ism for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
thebrowniebunch fic exchange^^ original prompt was an urban fantasy AU, I have no idea how this happened ;A; I hope I didn't deviate too far from the prompt, and you like it!!
(part 2)
Pairing: Daehyun/Youngjae
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 11.7k
Summary: IN WHICH DAEHYUN IS A UNICORN
A/N: written for
kiwi_ism for thebrowniebunch fic exchange^^ original prompt was an urban fantasy AU, I have no idea how this happened ;A; I hope I didn't deviate too far from the prompt, and you like it!!Youngjae started seeing the boy every day at the playground shortly after his summer classes began. It was always in passing, on his way between classes and his research lab. The boy looked underweight and malnourished, with blond hair that contrasted harshly with his dark skin, and features that almost seemed too large for his thin face. His baggy clothes hung off of his sloped shoulders and always seemed to be the same ones. However, it wasn’t the boy’s strange appearance that caught Youngjae’s attention and caused him to slow down every time he passed the park. It was the defeated look in his eyes that was reflected by his hunched form.
Strangely, the kids on the playground were all attracted to him. They brought him flower wreaths which he wore unabashedly, they clambered all over him until he let himself be dragged around, and they fell asleep in his lap. Sometimes he would be playing with the children, and the hardness around the edges of his eyes would soften, but the sadness still lingered even when he smiled at the kids. What a shame, Youngjae would think every time. He has a really nice smile. More often, Youngjae would see him dangling off a lonely swing, or perched on top of the jungle gym, staring longingly at the food stall across the fence. Youngjae couldn’t be sure, but oftentimes he thought he heard the boy singing.
Youngjae wanted to talk to the mysterious playground boy, but he had to rush to lab, then go to his part time job at the bookstore afterwards, and every time he returned to the playground after he got off of work, the boy would be gone. It wasn’t as if Youngjae expected to see the boy that late, when the sun had gone down and the kids had gone home to sleep, but he still hoped to run into the boy. Youngjae resolved that he would visit the playground next time he wasn’t rushing to be on time to his lab.
The chance arrived in the form of the bookstore manager cutting his hours. “I know you’re working to earn your way through your education, and you’re one of our most diligent workers,” his manager had told him apologetically. “But this is Hana’s only source of living income,” she said, referring to Youngjae’s newest co-worker who had recently come out of being homeless.
Youngjae couldn’t argue with that, so he allowed himself to feel disappointed for a short time and promptly set his sights on finding a new part time job to make ends meet. He couldn’t ask his mother for any more support than what she was already sending him monthly for his apartment rent. She was already raising his two brothers on her own, and even if he had to live off of ramyun this month, he wouldn’t burden her any further.
In the meantime, he could focus on reading ahead on his coursework to lighten his load when he did get another job. Also—he realized with a twist of his stomach—the playground. There was a slim chance he could finally talk to the playground boy.
That weekend was the first in a while where he didn’t have to go in to work first thing in the morning, so he packed his organic chemistry notes and headed out to the playground. Before he got on the bus, he stopped by his most frequently visited food cart to greet the ahjumma who had taken a liking to him. He bought himself a rice ball and a cup of steaming soy milk, and after only a slight moment of hesitation, an extra rice ball. Just in case, he thought.
Things never seem to work out easily, so Youngjae was surprised to find the boy lying across the monkey bars, hands propping up his head, watching the gray sky turn blue as the sun climbed higher. It was too early for any kids to be there yet. Youngjae walked under the playset, and before his nerve gave out, cleared his throat. “Hey.”
The boy looked down, and his face cycled through an array of emotions, deciding to stop at surprise. "You can see me?" the boy asked, his eyes and mouth comically round.
"Of course,” Youngjae said, plainly confused. "Are you a ghost?" He asked, half joking. He poked the legs that now dangled in front of him. "Apparently not, ‘cause I can touch you."
The boy leapt down from his perch, his eyes crinkling as he laughed. "Wow, are you some sort of loser or something?" He circled Youngjae, eyeing him critically. Of all the things he could have said, this was the last thing that Youngjae expected. Youngjae hoped he didn't look as dumb as he felt. What was this kid judging him for? He knew he wasn't one of the popular kids, and that he didn't actually have very many friends because his nose was always in his books, but that didn’t warrant a complete stranger’s label. "Only the pure of heart can see me," the boy said imperiously, as if that explained everything. It didn't.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Youngjae demanded. He wasn't sure which part he was questioning, the boy's meaning or the fact that he had just been personally insulted.
The boy gave Youngjae an exasperated stare. Did he have to explain everything? "Well, most of the times only little kids can see me. Once they let in the corruption of the world, they aren't able to see me anymore," he said. He looked hopefully at Youngjae, but Youngjae was still slack-faced in confusion. Looks like he did have to spell it out. "For most people, that happens before they turn 13. You," he said, finger digging into Youngjae's chest, "have the worldly experience of a 5-year-old."
"Oh," Youngjae said as he contemplated the implications of that statement. He didn't think it was true; he felt like he couldn't say anything without a bit of his sarcasm coming out, he was bad at taking care himself, horribly messy and he tended to indulge in oversleeping. He didn’t feel like his heart was very pure. “Why?”
“Humans don’t know anything, do they?” the blond said, slight condescension and disappointment creeping in his voice. For some reason, Youngjae felt immense sadness hidden in that statement. He looked unflinchingly at Youngjae, all traces of mirth gone. “I’m a unicorn.”
Youngjae burst out with laughter. “You can’t be serious,” he choked out between his fits. But the other didn’t twitch a muscle. When Youngjae saw that, he quickly sobered. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m always serious,” was the simple reply.
Youngjae considered just running away. He already regretted his decision to reach out and didn’t need to deal with this crazy person when he had other things to do. He sighed, shaking his head clear of that thought. He couldn’t bring himself to abandon the skinny, malnourished-looking kid. “Do you want to eat something?” He dug out the slightly squashed rice ball from his backpack.
The boy’s large eyes grew larger, but he shook his head. “I’m not your charity case.” Youngjae wanted to laugh at the obvious longing in the boy’s stare, but the suffering pride in that statement made his heart hurt, just a little.
“I guess it’s going to the birds then,” Youngjae said, fingers nimbly unwrapping the clear plastic. The boy scrunched up his face in an internal debate. Then, letting out a frustrated groan, he snatched the rice ball from Youngjae’s hands without another word. As he took a big bite, Youngjae sat down on the monkey bar ladder. “By the way, my name’s Yoo Youngjae, what’s yours?”
Youngjae waited patiently for the chipmunk-cheeked boy to swallow. It took a while; he had been overeager and took too big of a bite. “Jung Daehyun,” he said finally, just to take another bite, though a smaller one this time.
Daehyun looked like he wanted fill his stomach as quickly as possible, so Youngjae let him eat the rest of the rice ball in peace. While he watched Daehyun inhale the food, he wondered what would be appropriate to ask. Why was he here all the time? Why was he underfed? Did he have a home? Youngjae guessed that the boy didn’t, judging from his attire. But why?
“Why are you here so much?” Youngjae asked when Daehyun had swallowed the last of the rice ball and was balling up the plastic wrap in his hand.
If Daehyun was surprised that Youngjae had been observing him he didn’t show it. “Since adults can’t see me, I didn’t have a way to make money or get sustenance, I came here to see if I could get some food from the little kids.” He smiled wistfully. “I didn’t feel right taking their snacks from them in the end though so I’ve been starving.” His smile turned into a dry chuckle. “Can you believe I made friends with them?”
Youngjae still couldn’t tell if Daehyun was lying about being invisible or not. Daehyun looked incredibly like flesh and blood. He tried to recall if he had ever seen anybody besides the kids that frequented the playground talk to Daehyun. He couldn’t think of any, so instead he asked another question. “Do you have a home?”
Daehyun’s face hardened, and he avoided looking at Youngjae. “Not anymore,” he replied, and refused to say anymore on the topic.
After Youngjae’s misplaced question, he didn’t want to further shut out Daehyun, so he defaulted to what he did best and took out his notes. He did his best to concentrate, very well aware that Daehyun, who had climbed back onto his spot on the monkey bars, was singing and stealing peeks at Youngjae’s homework every few seconds. Youngjae hoped that Daehyun didn’t notice he was just skimming the same equation over and over. It was very hard to concentrate with somebody making noise (although Youngjae would be the first to say it was very beautiful noise) and breathing down his neck at the same time.
“Daehyunnie-hyung!” He was saved by the arrival of two identical small children, who jumped up down attempting to grab Daehyun’s dangling arms. Daehyun grinned and swung down holding the bar under his knees, ruffling their hair, one with each hand. “Woah,” they chorused in awe. “Teach us how to do that, Daehyunnie-hyung!”
Youngjae went back to his notes, discreetly looking up at regular intervals to see Daehyun explaining how he hung upside-down on the monkey bars. When his eyes met Daehyun’s upside-down ones, he quickly looked back down at his lap. Daehyun noticed, and snatched Youngjae’s notebook away. “Join us,” he said with an impish grin. “Guys, this is Youngjae-hyung,” he told the kids. “Youngjae, this is Hoon and Hun, they’re twins!”
The kids looked a little skeptical at first, but soon they became comfortable enough to take turns mounting the two hyungs’ shoulders and racing on their “ponies.” (“I’m not a pony,” Daehyun had sniffed in disgust.) Time passed more quickly than Youngjae would have liked, and the kids ran home to eat lunch with the promise that they would be back again. Youngjae hadn’t missed the longing written all over Daehyun’s face when the kids mentioned food, so he bought them each a roll of kimbab from the food stall across the street.
While they ate, Daehyun asked about Youngjae’s life. Daehyun was doing a bad job of hiding his excitement at finding a human that he could have a reasonable conversation with, and that put Youngjae at ease. Youngjae found himself telling Daehyun about things he never really told others. He talked about his aspirations to become a doctor and how the possibility of going to med school seemed slim with his mother as the single bread-winner of the household. He explained that he had skipped a few grades, and he was attending college on scholarship, but that was still a financial burden on his family and he wasn’t sure how long he could keep it up. He talked about his two brothers, and how much he missed them and wished he was a bigger part of their lives. “Jongup just started middle school, but he is still the sweetest child I’ve ever met. I’m actually a bit worried because he’s so oblivious sometimes, I hope he doesn’t get bullied in school or anything…” He chewed his lip, so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Daehyun swipe a piece of kimbab from his roll. “And Junhong, he’s only 6 but I swear he’s grown an inch every time I go back home, he’s shooting up like a plant. He’s a lot stronger than I expected too, considering he’s the only one that didn’t get to know our dad.”
Daehyun nodded understandingly. “I have a brother too,” he said. “He’s the Elder Unicorn.” Youngjae gave him a questioning look, but didn’t pursue the topic when more kids showed up. They all seemed to know “Daehyunnie-hyung,” or “Daehyunnie-oppa.” He gave up trying to study, and joined Daehyun in entertaining the kids.
As the sun fell lower and lower, Youngjae realized he really had done nothing all day. When this hit him, he abruptly stopped, removed the child hanging from his leg, and packed up his abandoned orgo notes. “I have to go home,” he told Daehyun, panicked.
Daehyun set down the girl he was spinning. He knelt down and told her, “Daehyun-oppa will be back tomorrow, alright?” He turned towards Youngjae. “Let’s go!” He grinned.
Youngjae gawked. It was true that they had spent the day together, and Daehyun didn’t have a home as far as he could tell, but in no way had Youngjae invited Daehyun to his house. “Do you have somewhere else to be?” He asked, grasping for straws.
“You should be honored,” Daehyun said. “You don’t believe me right?” Youngjae made a noncommittal noise. “I’m going to show you my true form.”
Daehyun commanded a striking figure in his old, baggy clothes, and Youngjae knew he had lost. “You need to eat dinner, right?”
Youngjae looked mournfully into his sparsely populated fridge. There were some eggs, a half-liter of milk, and not enough bok choy to make a side dish for rice. “Is ramyun okay?”
Daehyun peered over his shoulder. “Yeah, can we put eggs in it?” Daehyun’s knowledge of nutrition was surprising to Youngjae, considering how he looked like he hadn’t touched food in a long time. “Instinct,” Daehyun shrugged, when Youngjae commented on that.
The pair made the ramyun together, kind of. If Youngjae making it while Daehyun gave nonsensical instructions at his elbow counted as together. “Make the egg mushy,” Daehyun commanded when Youngjae cracked two eggs into the pot.
Before the egg yolk could solidify, Youngjae flicked off the fire. “You did a perfect job,” Daehyun said, patting Youngjae on the head.
“I don’t need your approval,” Youngjae said, but he said it with a smile and no bite behind his words. They sat together at Youngjae’s small kitchen table and Youngjae poured the steaming ramyun into a clean bowl for Daehyun, opting to eat his portion straight from the pot. For a while, they were silent, and only their slurping could be heard.
Despite the silence, the atmosphere wasn’t uncomfortable. Youngjae didn’t feel a need to talk and apparently neither did Daehyun. I haven’t had a friend over for so long, Youngjae realized. With his hectic schedule, he rarely had time to invite anyone to hang out. He glanced at Daehyun, who was enthusiastically tipping the bowl back to drink the soup. Did I just use the word friend? Maybe he did. Maybe that was okay.
After their modest dinner, Daehyun started checking his watch. Youngjae didn’t notice the watch previously, but it seemed to be the nicest thing that Daehyun owned. “Sunset’s at 8:31 pm today.” He stood up, and scoped out Youngjae’s apartment. “Where do you have the most open space?” Without waiting for Youngjae to answer, he picked the living room, and pushed the coffee table towards the couch. He eyed the mess strewn about the floor critically, then proceeded to pick up everything and toss it on the table.
Then, right there in the middle of Youngjae’s living room, Daehyun started to take off his pants. Youngjae didn’t register the situation until Daehyun had pulled off his shirt revealing his prominent ribs, causing a twinge of pain in Youngjae’s heart. “What are you doing?” He asked in alarm.
“I’m taking off my clothes,” Daehyun said. “Isn’t it obvious?” He pulled down his boxers.
“AHHH!!!” Youngjae scrambled over to the curtains, fumbling to pull them shut. The last thing he wanted to deal with was nosy neighbors seeing him with a naked boy inside his living room. He turned back to Daehyun, immediately regretting the action when he saw all of Daehyun’s assets. “What are you doing?!” He repeated while turning away, his face burning a bright tomato-red. He waved his hand vaguely at the boxers that were now lying on the floor. “Put those back on!”
“It’s not like you’re a girl,” Daehyun scoffed. He sat down cross-legged and started to fold his clothes into a neat pile, ignoring Youngjae’s pleas. “What’s wrong with seeing another guy naked? Haven’t you ever gone to a public bath house?”
Youngjae still didn’t understand why there was suddenly a naked boy in his living room. “It’s just not normal,” he said, but then again what did normalcy matter to some crazy person who thought he was a unicorn? He had almost forgotten with the way they had gotten along earlier. He grabbed a pillow from his sofa and threw it at Daehyun. “At least cover yourself.”
Daehyun had enough decency to listen to that request, albeit with a roll of his eyes. “No wonder you can see me. I bet you I can take away your purity,” he teased, causing Youngjae to turn redder. He laid the pillow across his knees, and checked the watch on his wrist. He unbuckled that as well. “It’s currently 8:30.” He laid the watch on top of the neatly folded pile of clothes by his side. “Sunset’s at 8:31 pm today, I still have a minute.”
Youngjae had no idea how to respond and found himself awkwardly standing, without really a purpose. “Um,” he said, more for having something to do than anything else. “Do you want anything to drink?” He asked lamely, hoping for a distraction, anything to get out of the living room. He sidled towards the kitchen, waiting for an okay from Daehyun.
“No.” Daehyun’s answer was firm. He looked steadily at Youngjae, who flinched under his gaze. “I said I was going to show you.” He pointed to the couch in front of him. “Sit.” His tone was one Youngjae didn’t want to disobey, so he sat. “Do you know how many people get to see a unicorn’s true form?” Youngjae shook his head. “Counting you, one, and you’re trying to skip out on that privilege?” The dim lighting cast long shadows on Daehyun’s face as he emphasized every word, making him look formidable.
“Sorry,” Youngjae said hastily, sensing that Daehyun was getting on a roll. But before Daehyun could continue, the last orange glow of light diffusing through the curtains disappeared. At the same time, a silvery light started emanating from Daehyun’s body. Youngjae stood up in shock and stifled a gasp, but didn’t dare to look away from the shining figure in front of him.
Daehyun groaned as unseen forces tugged at his body, his face, limbs and neck elongating right before Youngjae’s eyes. Daehyun threw his torso back in pain as his skin sprouted a silver-white coat. His fingers and toes melted together and were replaced by two sets of dainty cloved hoofs. The cries of pain turned into soft whinnying. It happened so fast. Youngjae had seen the entire process, not even blinking, but he didn’t believe his eyes.
Daehyun really was a unicorn.
“Holy…” Youngjae let out the breath he didn’t realize had caught in his throat. He stood facing the majestic creature. Although it was slightly smaller than a horse, it held its head high on a gracefully long neck, and still commanded an air of authority. Its pelt looked like it was made of stardust, coated with the sheen of the full moon. It shone in the darkness, but didn’t illuminate anything. Its hair spilled over its neck like a waterfall. Its large eyes were dark pools holding such intelligence, depth, and the only feature that resembled human Daehyun, sorrow, that Youngjae felt like he would drown in them if he got sucked in. A spiraled horn as long as Youngjae’s forearm grew out of the center of its forehead.
The unicorn dipped its head, pointing its horn at Youngjae. It stepped forward, and for a second Youngjae thought he was going to get skewered, but the horn stopped to rest at his forehead. Why are you crying? Youngjae jumped violently, gouging his skin on the horn. He fell into the couch, cornered. Be brought a hand up to his cheek, surprised to find it moist. “Beautiful…” His whisper came out hoarse.
He let the unicorn touch his forehead again, and the contact was cool and refreshing, soothing the pain of where he had stabbed himself on the horn. What do you want to know? There was definitely some smugness imbued in the thought, which Youngjae figured wasn’t his. “Will you answer my questions?” He felt affirmation. “What happened to your home?”
Youngjae felt the room disappear around him as waves of emotion washed over him. Images of a quiet forest dappled with light and green with new life, a clear brook, all the different animals—friends, filled his mind’s eye. He felt pride. This was his forest, and he belonged to the forest as its guardian.
The scenery changed. No, it was still the same place, but it felt older, more worn. The brook wasn’t as clear, and the trees were groaning. Invasion, as unnatural things entered his territory and the blood of his friends. Humans, they were called. A small, nagging worry that persisted and grew, and grew.
He watched as his pride, his joy, his life was ripped apart bit by bit. Every tree was chopped down, the brook completely dried up, all life withered. The heart of the forest stopped beating. Immeasurable pain at his helplessness. Immeasurable anger.
Burning, inextinguishable rage. Uncontrolled frenzy. Confusion. He blacked out. Youngjae felt his breath catch raggedly as he regained his sense of self. He knew he was crying, but he didn’t care. Careful not to run into Daehyun’s horn again, he leaned over and slung his arms around the unicorn’s long neck. “I’m sorry,” he repeated over and over, knowing that whatever he said would be inadequate.
When he collected himself, he let Daehyun rest the spiraled horn on his forehead again. There was still one thing he needed to know. “Why are you here now?”
Everything went black. The pain was gone, numbed because it was too much to handle. When he got back into his senses, he was surrounded by screaming humans. He had filled their minds with hauntings and nightmares. There was a little child that looked up at him with hollow eyes. The child screamed. He fled. That night, there was a fire, a national tragedy.
He faced the Elder. Shame masked the hurt and anger. You’re not ready for another forest, the unicorn elder told him. All you can do right now is destroy. Pain as his body became disfigured. Loathing when he realized what he had become. Pure shock at feeling mortality when he had always been immortal. Learn acceptance, and be at peace. What is peace? Love will return you to your true form.
Living in the shadows, experiencing ailments of the flesh for the first time. The hunger…that was the worst part. The gnawing that filled his belly, and losing the battle for his dignity, unable to last until the sun went down. Resorting to stealing from trashcans and when nobody was looking.
Gratefulness when one of the small humans brought him food. Shame when he had been caught stealing. The hurt sloughing away with time, covered by the sticky fingers of the children on the playground. But that wasn’t enough. He continued to decay in his daytime body.
Wonder and amazement when somebody who understood could finally see him. Hope. Maybe Youngjae could help him. The desperate plea lingered as Youngjae felt Daehyun leave his mind.
Youngjae cried for the both of them. “You’ve been through so much,” he said, stroking the unicorn’s mane. He rested his cheek against the unicorn’s silky pelt. They stayed that way until Youngjae fell asleep.
When he woke up, Youngjae found himself looking into the now-familiar pair of large, brown eyes that had intrigued him at first. Those eyes immediately disappeared behind Daehyun’s abundant eye fat as he smiled. “You’re finally awake.”
Disoriented, Youngjae forgot that he had fallen asleep on the floor. Then, as realization that Daehyun’s face was 2 inches away from his sunk in, he was suddenly very awake. He froze as he gained awareness of Daehyun’s arm beneath his neck, and his leg wrapped around something. That something being Daehyun’s very naked waist.
“ARGHHHH!” Youngjae threw himself off of Daehyun, who by this time had returned to his human shape. “When did—why are you—what,” Youngjae spluttered as Daehyun slowly sat up.
Daehyun massaged the arm that had been acting as Youngjae’s pillow. “I got up at sunrise because it kind of hurts when I transform,” Daehyun said. Youngjae didn’t miss the sarcasm. “Your head was really fat and I didn’t want to wake you up.” He calmly answered all of Youngjae’s unspoken questions. “Otherwise I would have put on my clothes, even though I don’t understand why you get like that when you’re a guy.” He reached for his neatly folded clothes, checking his watch. “Sunrise was at 5:46, and it’s almost 8 now.”
As Daehyun clipped on his watch and started pulling up his boxers, Youngjae calmed down considerably given the situation, enough to remember something and tell Daehyun, “Wait.” He got up and went to his room to dig through his messy drawers. Thankfully, his laundry was done for once, and he hastily grabbed some fresh clothes. He returned and tossed his clothes to Daehyun. Daehyun’s eyes went big—Youngjae expected that he wasn’t used to kindness—then narrowed again. “I told you, I don’t need your pity.”
Youngjae was prepared for this. Ignoring Daehyun’s protests, he pulled the dirty old shirt out of Daehyun’s clutch. He held it out at arm’s length between his thumb and forefinger. “Don’t get the wrong idea, I don’t want this all over my couch,” he said. He wrinkled his nose to emphasize his point.
Although Youngjae’s clothes were still a little big on Daehyun, his back was just a little straighter, and his smile a little more genuine. Youngjae felt his stomach squirm a tiny bit when he realized that if Daehyun filled out a bit and held himself with confidence, he would be very handsome indeed.
That thought was quickly pushed out of his head by the fact that he hadn’t done anything in terms of his schoolwork and his job search. “I have to go in to work today,” he told Daehyun at breakfast (eggs again, and a cup of milk each), whose face fell hearing that.
“Can I help?” Daehyun asked as Youngjae rinsed their dishes. Youngjae was about to say, “it’s okay,” but he realized that Daehyun hadn’t been given the chance to work. “I’ll find something for you to do.”
That morning, as he left for work, he asked the ahjumma at the food cart he frequented for any manual labor he could take home. She told him to come back later, and that she’d have something for him. Youngjae left feeling giddy; he always felt happier helping somebody else than helping himself.
Youngjae was antsy all day at work, but the manager smiled at him, thanking him for taking his cut hours with such grace. “You even look happier than usual,” she said. When it was time for him to leave, she stopped him, handing him a book. “Just a token of my gratitude,” she said. “It reminded me of you.”
He looked at the book. The Last Unicorn. He laughed, how appropriate. Inside the cover, there was an inscription. Don’t give up on dreaming, it said. “Thanks, I love it,” he told his manager warmly.
Youngjae hurried home with the book tucked under his arm. He caught the food cart ahjumma as she was closing up shop, and out of nowhere, she procured a giant plastic bag filled with unfinished plush bears. “Just sew on their eyes, noses, and ears,” she told him. “It’s not much, 1000 won for each bear you finish—,” she said, but Youngjae cut her off with a hug.
“Thanks, Mrs. Kwon,” he said, trying to show how much the gesture meant to him by tightening the hug.
She laughed, patting him on the cheek. “You know I think of you like my own son,” she said, stuffing an extra pork bun into the bag.
Youngjae came home to a cleaned house and Daehyun passed out on the couch. He wanted to feed Daehyun before the sun went down, but it was hard for Youngjae to wake up the soundly sleeping boy when he looked so peaceful. Noticing Daehyun’s long eyelashes, Youngjae wondered for a fleeting moment if that was how Daehyun felt in the morning watching him. “Daehyun,” he called softly, nudging him.
Daehyun was a light sleeper so his eyes fluttered open at the touch and he sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Welcome home,” he yawned.
“Your reward,” Youngjae said, handing over the pork bun. “For taking care of the house while I was gone.” Daehyun snatched the bun greedily, and ate with the incredible speed and gusto as the first time Youngjae fed him.
“I went to the playground,” Daehyun said around mouthfuls. “The kids missed you.”
“Did you tell them I missed them too?” Youngjae said, half joking.
“Yeah,” Daehyun said. After a moment’s hesitation he added, “I missed you too.”
“Of course you did,” Youngjae replied quickly, trying not to make too much of the unexpected comment but flushing anyways. To cover up his embarrassment, he put the plastic bag filled with the plush bear parts on the sofa next to Daehyun. “I found you a job.”
They spent their remaining daylight time examining the bears, while Youngjae tried teaching Daehyun how to sew and they laughed together at how Daehyun sucked so badly at it. Finally Daehyun shooed Youngjae to his room to study the orgo he hadn’t touched all weekend, with the promise of a hot cup of tea to be delievered. “I’ll be okay,” he reassured Youngjae. “And naked,” he added as a threat when Youngjae hesitated to leave.
Daehyun astounded Youngjae with the speed that he picked up the sewing. Mrs. Kwon was happy with the sewing job, and continually provided him with things to take back to Daehyun. With the addition of Daehyun’s small but steady income, it became apparent that Youngjae didn’t need a second job. He also took care of the house chores, and Youngjae found himself with extra time for once. And that extra time, the two spent together.
After he figured out that Youngjae was doing things out of the genuineness of his heart, Daehyun inherited a lot of Youngjae’s old things, including the old Gameboy Youngjae hadn’t touched for a while. Youngjae taught Daehyun how to play, and Daehyun started coming home with stories about battling Pokemon with the little kids from the playground.
Youngjae even bought a cell phone for Daehyun so they could keep in contact while they were apart. It was a clunky old phone because that was all he could afford, but the way Daehyun treated it, he could’ve sworn it was made out of gold.
What pleased Youngjae the most was how Daehyun started filling out. His eyes were no longer too big for his face, and Youngjae felt more than bones when he wrestled Daehyun for the last of the snacks (he always let Daehyun win those anyways). The look in his eyes also softened, and sorrow was an expression that became less and less frequent. Sometimes, he’d feel a pang in his heart looking at the new healthy Daehyun, but he would always push that out of his head.
“Can I come to your class?” Daehyun asked one day, and Youngjae let him. It was a terrible idea, really. Daehyun got bored, not understanding the chemical reactions, and started poking Youngjae and imitating the professor’s accent in a high-pitched voice that was supposed to sound like a woman. It wasn’t funny at all, he wanted to say, but it was incredibly difficult for Youngjae to keep a straight face and concentrate on what was being said in class, and for the first time in his life, got called out to “share with the class what was so entertaining, Mr. Yoo.”
“I hope you know you got me into trouble,” Youngjae muttered as they shuffled out of class. He didn’t want to be caught talking to the air, so he looked ahead and kept his voice low. Daehyun just smirked and poked Youngjae again, causing him to jerk to the side. “Sorry,” he said, apologizing to the people around who gave him weird looks.
They stopped by the library before Youngjae’s afternoon class. “I have to study, so behave yourself, alright?” Youngjae said to Daehyun. He got a few minutes of peace, but Daehyun got bored again and he had no better luck than in class.
“Youngjae-ah.” Poke. “Youngjae-ah.” Poke. “Youngjae-pabo.” Poke.
“What?” Youngjae nearly shouted, clapping a hand to his mouth when the librarian glared at him. He looked up at Daehyun, and whatever anger he had melted when he saw the ridiculous face Daehyun was making. He burst out laughing, and received another death glare by the librarian.
Before they could disturb the quiet library even further, Youngjae packed up his notes and dragged Daehyun outside. “Can you please try to find another way to entertain yourself in my next class?”
Daehyun looked chagrined. Youngjae hadn’t ever really gotten mad at him, and this was close enough to count. “Okay,” he said. Daehyun was a brat sometimes, but he had never broken a promise, so Youngjae went to his next class relieved.
Halfway through the class, Daehyun was being mericifully quiet, and Youngjae was about to praise Daehyun for it when he noticed that he was the only student actively listening in class. The girl two seats down had a dreamy look on her face, and was that drool on her chin? The other students weren’t as bad, but they all had unfocused gazes. He looked over at Daehyun, who had his face in his hands, smiling mischievously.
What are you doing? Youngjae scribbled furiously on his notebook and shoved it under Daehyun’s nose.
“Daydreams,” Daehyun replied. “You know when I showed you my mind that night?” Youngjae remembered. “Apparently that’s the only thing I can still do in my human body, but all I’m doing is amplifying what they’re already thinking about,” he said.
Turn it off, Youngjae wrote, underlining it a couple of times. Daehyun pouted and buried his head in his arms, but the girl with the drool blinked a couple of times, and wiped her face hurriedly, acting as if nobody saw her. “Thanks,” Youngjae whispered.
When the class finally ended, Youngjae punched Daehyun in the shoulder. “I’m never taking you to school ever again.” Daehyun pouted, and Youngjae questioned whether he could stick to his word or not.
Halfway through the summer when the weather turned oppressively hot, Youngjae’s mother wrote him asking for him to visit home. “Do you want to meet my brothers?” Youngjae asked Daehyun at dinner that night. He wasn’t sure why it seemed so natural for Daehyun to meet his family, he was just the first one Youngjae thought of when he received the letter.
Daehyun was all for the idea, and he nodded enthusiastically, even pausing in his eating to tell Youngjae what a great idea that was. “Great,” Youngjae grinned. “I can’t wait for you to try my mom’s cooking.”
Daehyun was uncharacteristically quiet, and the clacking of his chopsticks against his bowl stopped. “Youngjae-ah…your mom won’t be able to see me.”
Youngjae expected that, but he still wanted to try. “But I can see you, and my mom’s a much better person than I am,” he said hopefully, but Daehyun shook his head.
“When you come of age, even you won’t be able to see me,” Daehyun said. Youngjae’s heart sank. He had never thought that there might be a day when Daehyun would disappear forever. He was turning 20 in half a year.
“Youngjae-ah,” Daehyun said gently, setting down his chopsticks. “Do you know why you can see me now? Do you know what purity of heart means?” Youngjae shook his head. “It means you haven’t had any thoughts that define you as a self-sufficient ‘adult.’ You aren’t able to fend for yourself because you haven’t ever had a selfish thought.”
“But I am so selfish,” Youngjae said. “I’m studying what I want to study, making my mom take care of my brothers by herself.”
Daehyun snorted. “Probably for some noble cause, like saving lives, or being able to support your mother in the future or something,” he said, his eyes curving with amusement. “Anyways, even though you haven’t defined yourself as an adult yet, once society does for you, you won’t be able to see me anymore.”
Youngjae’s heart felt like lead dropping into his stomach, and he was confused. He had no idea what he had expected. Now that he knew what to expect, he had no idea what to do for the rest of their limited time together. At that moment though, he knew he wanted to share with Daehyun as much of his life as he could. “You’re meeting my brothers.”
Strangely, the kids on the playground were all attracted to him. They brought him flower wreaths which he wore unabashedly, they clambered all over him until he let himself be dragged around, and they fell asleep in his lap. Sometimes he would be playing with the children, and the hardness around the edges of his eyes would soften, but the sadness still lingered even when he smiled at the kids. What a shame, Youngjae would think every time. He has a really nice smile. More often, Youngjae would see him dangling off a lonely swing, or perched on top of the jungle gym, staring longingly at the food stall across the fence. Youngjae couldn’t be sure, but oftentimes he thought he heard the boy singing.
Youngjae wanted to talk to the mysterious playground boy, but he had to rush to lab, then go to his part time job at the bookstore afterwards, and every time he returned to the playground after he got off of work, the boy would be gone. It wasn’t as if Youngjae expected to see the boy that late, when the sun had gone down and the kids had gone home to sleep, but he still hoped to run into the boy. Youngjae resolved that he would visit the playground next time he wasn’t rushing to be on time to his lab.
*
The chance arrived in the form of the bookstore manager cutting his hours. “I know you’re working to earn your way through your education, and you’re one of our most diligent workers,” his manager had told him apologetically. “But this is Hana’s only source of living income,” she said, referring to Youngjae’s newest co-worker who had recently come out of being homeless.
Youngjae couldn’t argue with that, so he allowed himself to feel disappointed for a short time and promptly set his sights on finding a new part time job to make ends meet. He couldn’t ask his mother for any more support than what she was already sending him monthly for his apartment rent. She was already raising his two brothers on her own, and even if he had to live off of ramyun this month, he wouldn’t burden her any further.
In the meantime, he could focus on reading ahead on his coursework to lighten his load when he did get another job. Also—he realized with a twist of his stomach—the playground. There was a slim chance he could finally talk to the playground boy.
That weekend was the first in a while where he didn’t have to go in to work first thing in the morning, so he packed his organic chemistry notes and headed out to the playground. Before he got on the bus, he stopped by his most frequently visited food cart to greet the ahjumma who had taken a liking to him. He bought himself a rice ball and a cup of steaming soy milk, and after only a slight moment of hesitation, an extra rice ball. Just in case, he thought.
*
Things never seem to work out easily, so Youngjae was surprised to find the boy lying across the monkey bars, hands propping up his head, watching the gray sky turn blue as the sun climbed higher. It was too early for any kids to be there yet. Youngjae walked under the playset, and before his nerve gave out, cleared his throat. “Hey.”
The boy looked down, and his face cycled through an array of emotions, deciding to stop at surprise. "You can see me?" the boy asked, his eyes and mouth comically round.
"Of course,” Youngjae said, plainly confused. "Are you a ghost?" He asked, half joking. He poked the legs that now dangled in front of him. "Apparently not, ‘cause I can touch you."
The boy leapt down from his perch, his eyes crinkling as he laughed. "Wow, are you some sort of loser or something?" He circled Youngjae, eyeing him critically. Of all the things he could have said, this was the last thing that Youngjae expected. Youngjae hoped he didn't look as dumb as he felt. What was this kid judging him for? He knew he wasn't one of the popular kids, and that he didn't actually have very many friends because his nose was always in his books, but that didn’t warrant a complete stranger’s label. "Only the pure of heart can see me," the boy said imperiously, as if that explained everything. It didn't.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Youngjae demanded. He wasn't sure which part he was questioning, the boy's meaning or the fact that he had just been personally insulted.
The boy gave Youngjae an exasperated stare. Did he have to explain everything? "Well, most of the times only little kids can see me. Once they let in the corruption of the world, they aren't able to see me anymore," he said. He looked hopefully at Youngjae, but Youngjae was still slack-faced in confusion. Looks like he did have to spell it out. "For most people, that happens before they turn 13. You," he said, finger digging into Youngjae's chest, "have the worldly experience of a 5-year-old."
"Oh," Youngjae said as he contemplated the implications of that statement. He didn't think it was true; he felt like he couldn't say anything without a bit of his sarcasm coming out, he was bad at taking care himself, horribly messy and he tended to indulge in oversleeping. He didn’t feel like his heart was very pure. “Why?”
“Humans don’t know anything, do they?” the blond said, slight condescension and disappointment creeping in his voice. For some reason, Youngjae felt immense sadness hidden in that statement. He looked unflinchingly at Youngjae, all traces of mirth gone. “I’m a unicorn.”
Youngjae burst out with laughter. “You can’t be serious,” he choked out between his fits. But the other didn’t twitch a muscle. When Youngjae saw that, he quickly sobered. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m always serious,” was the simple reply.
Youngjae considered just running away. He already regretted his decision to reach out and didn’t need to deal with this crazy person when he had other things to do. He sighed, shaking his head clear of that thought. He couldn’t bring himself to abandon the skinny, malnourished-looking kid. “Do you want to eat something?” He dug out the slightly squashed rice ball from his backpack.
The boy’s large eyes grew larger, but he shook his head. “I’m not your charity case.” Youngjae wanted to laugh at the obvious longing in the boy’s stare, but the suffering pride in that statement made his heart hurt, just a little.
“I guess it’s going to the birds then,” Youngjae said, fingers nimbly unwrapping the clear plastic. The boy scrunched up his face in an internal debate. Then, letting out a frustrated groan, he snatched the rice ball from Youngjae’s hands without another word. As he took a big bite, Youngjae sat down on the monkey bar ladder. “By the way, my name’s Yoo Youngjae, what’s yours?”
Youngjae waited patiently for the chipmunk-cheeked boy to swallow. It took a while; he had been overeager and took too big of a bite. “Jung Daehyun,” he said finally, just to take another bite, though a smaller one this time.
Daehyun looked like he wanted fill his stomach as quickly as possible, so Youngjae let him eat the rest of the rice ball in peace. While he watched Daehyun inhale the food, he wondered what would be appropriate to ask. Why was he here all the time? Why was he underfed? Did he have a home? Youngjae guessed that the boy didn’t, judging from his attire. But why?
“Why are you here so much?” Youngjae asked when Daehyun had swallowed the last of the rice ball and was balling up the plastic wrap in his hand.
If Daehyun was surprised that Youngjae had been observing him he didn’t show it. “Since adults can’t see me, I didn’t have a way to make money or get sustenance, I came here to see if I could get some food from the little kids.” He smiled wistfully. “I didn’t feel right taking their snacks from them in the end though so I’ve been starving.” His smile turned into a dry chuckle. “Can you believe I made friends with them?”
Youngjae still couldn’t tell if Daehyun was lying about being invisible or not. Daehyun looked incredibly like flesh and blood. He tried to recall if he had ever seen anybody besides the kids that frequented the playground talk to Daehyun. He couldn’t think of any, so instead he asked another question. “Do you have a home?”
Daehyun’s face hardened, and he avoided looking at Youngjae. “Not anymore,” he replied, and refused to say anymore on the topic.
*
After Youngjae’s misplaced question, he didn’t want to further shut out Daehyun, so he defaulted to what he did best and took out his notes. He did his best to concentrate, very well aware that Daehyun, who had climbed back onto his spot on the monkey bars, was singing and stealing peeks at Youngjae’s homework every few seconds. Youngjae hoped that Daehyun didn’t notice he was just skimming the same equation over and over. It was very hard to concentrate with somebody making noise (although Youngjae would be the first to say it was very beautiful noise) and breathing down his neck at the same time.
“Daehyunnie-hyung!” He was saved by the arrival of two identical small children, who jumped up down attempting to grab Daehyun’s dangling arms. Daehyun grinned and swung down holding the bar under his knees, ruffling their hair, one with each hand. “Woah,” they chorused in awe. “Teach us how to do that, Daehyunnie-hyung!”
Youngjae went back to his notes, discreetly looking up at regular intervals to see Daehyun explaining how he hung upside-down on the monkey bars. When his eyes met Daehyun’s upside-down ones, he quickly looked back down at his lap. Daehyun noticed, and snatched Youngjae’s notebook away. “Join us,” he said with an impish grin. “Guys, this is Youngjae-hyung,” he told the kids. “Youngjae, this is Hoon and Hun, they’re twins!”
The kids looked a little skeptical at first, but soon they became comfortable enough to take turns mounting the two hyungs’ shoulders and racing on their “ponies.” (“I’m not a pony,” Daehyun had sniffed in disgust.) Time passed more quickly than Youngjae would have liked, and the kids ran home to eat lunch with the promise that they would be back again. Youngjae hadn’t missed the longing written all over Daehyun’s face when the kids mentioned food, so he bought them each a roll of kimbab from the food stall across the street.
While they ate, Daehyun asked about Youngjae’s life. Daehyun was doing a bad job of hiding his excitement at finding a human that he could have a reasonable conversation with, and that put Youngjae at ease. Youngjae found himself telling Daehyun about things he never really told others. He talked about his aspirations to become a doctor and how the possibility of going to med school seemed slim with his mother as the single bread-winner of the household. He explained that he had skipped a few grades, and he was attending college on scholarship, but that was still a financial burden on his family and he wasn’t sure how long he could keep it up. He talked about his two brothers, and how much he missed them and wished he was a bigger part of their lives. “Jongup just started middle school, but he is still the sweetest child I’ve ever met. I’m actually a bit worried because he’s so oblivious sometimes, I hope he doesn’t get bullied in school or anything…” He chewed his lip, so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Daehyun swipe a piece of kimbab from his roll. “And Junhong, he’s only 6 but I swear he’s grown an inch every time I go back home, he’s shooting up like a plant. He’s a lot stronger than I expected too, considering he’s the only one that didn’t get to know our dad.”
Daehyun nodded understandingly. “I have a brother too,” he said. “He’s the Elder Unicorn.” Youngjae gave him a questioning look, but didn’t pursue the topic when more kids showed up. They all seemed to know “Daehyunnie-hyung,” or “Daehyunnie-oppa.” He gave up trying to study, and joined Daehyun in entertaining the kids.
As the sun fell lower and lower, Youngjae realized he really had done nothing all day. When this hit him, he abruptly stopped, removed the child hanging from his leg, and packed up his abandoned orgo notes. “I have to go home,” he told Daehyun, panicked.
Daehyun set down the girl he was spinning. He knelt down and told her, “Daehyun-oppa will be back tomorrow, alright?” He turned towards Youngjae. “Let’s go!” He grinned.
Youngjae gawked. It was true that they had spent the day together, and Daehyun didn’t have a home as far as he could tell, but in no way had Youngjae invited Daehyun to his house. “Do you have somewhere else to be?” He asked, grasping for straws.
“You should be honored,” Daehyun said. “You don’t believe me right?” Youngjae made a noncommittal noise. “I’m going to show you my true form.”
Daehyun commanded a striking figure in his old, baggy clothes, and Youngjae knew he had lost. “You need to eat dinner, right?”
*
Youngjae looked mournfully into his sparsely populated fridge. There were some eggs, a half-liter of milk, and not enough bok choy to make a side dish for rice. “Is ramyun okay?”
Daehyun peered over his shoulder. “Yeah, can we put eggs in it?” Daehyun’s knowledge of nutrition was surprising to Youngjae, considering how he looked like he hadn’t touched food in a long time. “Instinct,” Daehyun shrugged, when Youngjae commented on that.
The pair made the ramyun together, kind of. If Youngjae making it while Daehyun gave nonsensical instructions at his elbow counted as together. “Make the egg mushy,” Daehyun commanded when Youngjae cracked two eggs into the pot.
Before the egg yolk could solidify, Youngjae flicked off the fire. “You did a perfect job,” Daehyun said, patting Youngjae on the head.
“I don’t need your approval,” Youngjae said, but he said it with a smile and no bite behind his words. They sat together at Youngjae’s small kitchen table and Youngjae poured the steaming ramyun into a clean bowl for Daehyun, opting to eat his portion straight from the pot. For a while, they were silent, and only their slurping could be heard.
Despite the silence, the atmosphere wasn’t uncomfortable. Youngjae didn’t feel a need to talk and apparently neither did Daehyun. I haven’t had a friend over for so long, Youngjae realized. With his hectic schedule, he rarely had time to invite anyone to hang out. He glanced at Daehyun, who was enthusiastically tipping the bowl back to drink the soup. Did I just use the word friend? Maybe he did. Maybe that was okay.
*
After their modest dinner, Daehyun started checking his watch. Youngjae didn’t notice the watch previously, but it seemed to be the nicest thing that Daehyun owned. “Sunset’s at 8:31 pm today.” He stood up, and scoped out Youngjae’s apartment. “Where do you have the most open space?” Without waiting for Youngjae to answer, he picked the living room, and pushed the coffee table towards the couch. He eyed the mess strewn about the floor critically, then proceeded to pick up everything and toss it on the table.
Then, right there in the middle of Youngjae’s living room, Daehyun started to take off his pants. Youngjae didn’t register the situation until Daehyun had pulled off his shirt revealing his prominent ribs, causing a twinge of pain in Youngjae’s heart. “What are you doing?” He asked in alarm.
“I’m taking off my clothes,” Daehyun said. “Isn’t it obvious?” He pulled down his boxers.
“AHHH!!!” Youngjae scrambled over to the curtains, fumbling to pull them shut. The last thing he wanted to deal with was nosy neighbors seeing him with a naked boy inside his living room. He turned back to Daehyun, immediately regretting the action when he saw all of Daehyun’s assets. “What are you doing?!” He repeated while turning away, his face burning a bright tomato-red. He waved his hand vaguely at the boxers that were now lying on the floor. “Put those back on!”
“It’s not like you’re a girl,” Daehyun scoffed. He sat down cross-legged and started to fold his clothes into a neat pile, ignoring Youngjae’s pleas. “What’s wrong with seeing another guy naked? Haven’t you ever gone to a public bath house?”
Youngjae still didn’t understand why there was suddenly a naked boy in his living room. “It’s just not normal,” he said, but then again what did normalcy matter to some crazy person who thought he was a unicorn? He had almost forgotten with the way they had gotten along earlier. He grabbed a pillow from his sofa and threw it at Daehyun. “At least cover yourself.”
Daehyun had enough decency to listen to that request, albeit with a roll of his eyes. “No wonder you can see me. I bet you I can take away your purity,” he teased, causing Youngjae to turn redder. He laid the pillow across his knees, and checked the watch on his wrist. He unbuckled that as well. “It’s currently 8:30.” He laid the watch on top of the neatly folded pile of clothes by his side. “Sunset’s at 8:31 pm today, I still have a minute.”
Youngjae had no idea how to respond and found himself awkwardly standing, without really a purpose. “Um,” he said, more for having something to do than anything else. “Do you want anything to drink?” He asked lamely, hoping for a distraction, anything to get out of the living room. He sidled towards the kitchen, waiting for an okay from Daehyun.
“No.” Daehyun’s answer was firm. He looked steadily at Youngjae, who flinched under his gaze. “I said I was going to show you.” He pointed to the couch in front of him. “Sit.” His tone was one Youngjae didn’t want to disobey, so he sat. “Do you know how many people get to see a unicorn’s true form?” Youngjae shook his head. “Counting you, one, and you’re trying to skip out on that privilege?” The dim lighting cast long shadows on Daehyun’s face as he emphasized every word, making him look formidable.
“Sorry,” Youngjae said hastily, sensing that Daehyun was getting on a roll. But before Daehyun could continue, the last orange glow of light diffusing through the curtains disappeared. At the same time, a silvery light started emanating from Daehyun’s body. Youngjae stood up in shock and stifled a gasp, but didn’t dare to look away from the shining figure in front of him.
Daehyun groaned as unseen forces tugged at his body, his face, limbs and neck elongating right before Youngjae’s eyes. Daehyun threw his torso back in pain as his skin sprouted a silver-white coat. His fingers and toes melted together and were replaced by two sets of dainty cloved hoofs. The cries of pain turned into soft whinnying. It happened so fast. Youngjae had seen the entire process, not even blinking, but he didn’t believe his eyes.
Daehyun really was a unicorn.
*
“Holy…” Youngjae let out the breath he didn’t realize had caught in his throat. He stood facing the majestic creature. Although it was slightly smaller than a horse, it held its head high on a gracefully long neck, and still commanded an air of authority. Its pelt looked like it was made of stardust, coated with the sheen of the full moon. It shone in the darkness, but didn’t illuminate anything. Its hair spilled over its neck like a waterfall. Its large eyes were dark pools holding such intelligence, depth, and the only feature that resembled human Daehyun, sorrow, that Youngjae felt like he would drown in them if he got sucked in. A spiraled horn as long as Youngjae’s forearm grew out of the center of its forehead.
The unicorn dipped its head, pointing its horn at Youngjae. It stepped forward, and for a second Youngjae thought he was going to get skewered, but the horn stopped to rest at his forehead. Why are you crying? Youngjae jumped violently, gouging his skin on the horn. He fell into the couch, cornered. Be brought a hand up to his cheek, surprised to find it moist. “Beautiful…” His whisper came out hoarse.
He let the unicorn touch his forehead again, and the contact was cool and refreshing, soothing the pain of where he had stabbed himself on the horn. What do you want to know? There was definitely some smugness imbued in the thought, which Youngjae figured wasn’t his. “Will you answer my questions?” He felt affirmation. “What happened to your home?”
Youngjae felt the room disappear around him as waves of emotion washed over him. Images of a quiet forest dappled with light and green with new life, a clear brook, all the different animals—friends, filled his mind’s eye. He felt pride. This was his forest, and he belonged to the forest as its guardian.
The scenery changed. No, it was still the same place, but it felt older, more worn. The brook wasn’t as clear, and the trees were groaning. Invasion, as unnatural things entered his territory and the blood of his friends. Humans, they were called. A small, nagging worry that persisted and grew, and grew.
He watched as his pride, his joy, his life was ripped apart bit by bit. Every tree was chopped down, the brook completely dried up, all life withered. The heart of the forest stopped beating. Immeasurable pain at his helplessness. Immeasurable anger.
Burning, inextinguishable rage. Uncontrolled frenzy. Confusion. He blacked out. Youngjae felt his breath catch raggedly as he regained his sense of self. He knew he was crying, but he didn’t care. Careful not to run into Daehyun’s horn again, he leaned over and slung his arms around the unicorn’s long neck. “I’m sorry,” he repeated over and over, knowing that whatever he said would be inadequate.
When he collected himself, he let Daehyun rest the spiraled horn on his forehead again. There was still one thing he needed to know. “Why are you here now?”
Everything went black. The pain was gone, numbed because it was too much to handle. When he got back into his senses, he was surrounded by screaming humans. He had filled their minds with hauntings and nightmares. There was a little child that looked up at him with hollow eyes. The child screamed. He fled. That night, there was a fire, a national tragedy.
He faced the Elder. Shame masked the hurt and anger. You’re not ready for another forest, the unicorn elder told him. All you can do right now is destroy. Pain as his body became disfigured. Loathing when he realized what he had become. Pure shock at feeling mortality when he had always been immortal. Learn acceptance, and be at peace. What is peace? Love will return you to your true form.
Living in the shadows, experiencing ailments of the flesh for the first time. The hunger…that was the worst part. The gnawing that filled his belly, and losing the battle for his dignity, unable to last until the sun went down. Resorting to stealing from trashcans and when nobody was looking.
Gratefulness when one of the small humans brought him food. Shame when he had been caught stealing. The hurt sloughing away with time, covered by the sticky fingers of the children on the playground. But that wasn’t enough. He continued to decay in his daytime body.
Wonder and amazement when somebody who understood could finally see him. Hope. Maybe Youngjae could help him. The desperate plea lingered as Youngjae felt Daehyun leave his mind.
Youngjae cried for the both of them. “You’ve been through so much,” he said, stroking the unicorn’s mane. He rested his cheek against the unicorn’s silky pelt. They stayed that way until Youngjae fell asleep.
*
When he woke up, Youngjae found himself looking into the now-familiar pair of large, brown eyes that had intrigued him at first. Those eyes immediately disappeared behind Daehyun’s abundant eye fat as he smiled. “You’re finally awake.”
Disoriented, Youngjae forgot that he had fallen asleep on the floor. Then, as realization that Daehyun’s face was 2 inches away from his sunk in, he was suddenly very awake. He froze as he gained awareness of Daehyun’s arm beneath his neck, and his leg wrapped around something. That something being Daehyun’s very naked waist.
“ARGHHHH!” Youngjae threw himself off of Daehyun, who by this time had returned to his human shape. “When did—why are you—what,” Youngjae spluttered as Daehyun slowly sat up.
Daehyun massaged the arm that had been acting as Youngjae’s pillow. “I got up at sunrise because it kind of hurts when I transform,” Daehyun said. Youngjae didn’t miss the sarcasm. “Your head was really fat and I didn’t want to wake you up.” He calmly answered all of Youngjae’s unspoken questions. “Otherwise I would have put on my clothes, even though I don’t understand why you get like that when you’re a guy.” He reached for his neatly folded clothes, checking his watch. “Sunrise was at 5:46, and it’s almost 8 now.”
As Daehyun clipped on his watch and started pulling up his boxers, Youngjae calmed down considerably given the situation, enough to remember something and tell Daehyun, “Wait.” He got up and went to his room to dig through his messy drawers. Thankfully, his laundry was done for once, and he hastily grabbed some fresh clothes. He returned and tossed his clothes to Daehyun. Daehyun’s eyes went big—Youngjae expected that he wasn’t used to kindness—then narrowed again. “I told you, I don’t need your pity.”
Youngjae was prepared for this. Ignoring Daehyun’s protests, he pulled the dirty old shirt out of Daehyun’s clutch. He held it out at arm’s length between his thumb and forefinger. “Don’t get the wrong idea, I don’t want this all over my couch,” he said. He wrinkled his nose to emphasize his point.
Although Youngjae’s clothes were still a little big on Daehyun, his back was just a little straighter, and his smile a little more genuine. Youngjae felt his stomach squirm a tiny bit when he realized that if Daehyun filled out a bit and held himself with confidence, he would be very handsome indeed.
That thought was quickly pushed out of his head by the fact that he hadn’t done anything in terms of his schoolwork and his job search. “I have to go in to work today,” he told Daehyun at breakfast (eggs again, and a cup of milk each), whose face fell hearing that.
“Can I help?” Daehyun asked as Youngjae rinsed their dishes. Youngjae was about to say, “it’s okay,” but he realized that Daehyun hadn’t been given the chance to work. “I’ll find something for you to do.”
That morning, as he left for work, he asked the ahjumma at the food cart he frequented for any manual labor he could take home. She told him to come back later, and that she’d have something for him. Youngjae left feeling giddy; he always felt happier helping somebody else than helping himself.
*
Youngjae was antsy all day at work, but the manager smiled at him, thanking him for taking his cut hours with such grace. “You even look happier than usual,” she said. When it was time for him to leave, she stopped him, handing him a book. “Just a token of my gratitude,” she said. “It reminded me of you.”
He looked at the book. The Last Unicorn. He laughed, how appropriate. Inside the cover, there was an inscription. Don’t give up on dreaming, it said. “Thanks, I love it,” he told his manager warmly.
Youngjae hurried home with the book tucked under his arm. He caught the food cart ahjumma as she was closing up shop, and out of nowhere, she procured a giant plastic bag filled with unfinished plush bears. “Just sew on their eyes, noses, and ears,” she told him. “It’s not much, 1000 won for each bear you finish—,” she said, but Youngjae cut her off with a hug.
“Thanks, Mrs. Kwon,” he said, trying to show how much the gesture meant to him by tightening the hug.
She laughed, patting him on the cheek. “You know I think of you like my own son,” she said, stuffing an extra pork bun into the bag.
Youngjae came home to a cleaned house and Daehyun passed out on the couch. He wanted to feed Daehyun before the sun went down, but it was hard for Youngjae to wake up the soundly sleeping boy when he looked so peaceful. Noticing Daehyun’s long eyelashes, Youngjae wondered for a fleeting moment if that was how Daehyun felt in the morning watching him. “Daehyun,” he called softly, nudging him.
Daehyun was a light sleeper so his eyes fluttered open at the touch and he sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Welcome home,” he yawned.
“Your reward,” Youngjae said, handing over the pork bun. “For taking care of the house while I was gone.” Daehyun snatched the bun greedily, and ate with the incredible speed and gusto as the first time Youngjae fed him.
“I went to the playground,” Daehyun said around mouthfuls. “The kids missed you.”
“Did you tell them I missed them too?” Youngjae said, half joking.
“Yeah,” Daehyun said. After a moment’s hesitation he added, “I missed you too.”
“Of course you did,” Youngjae replied quickly, trying not to make too much of the unexpected comment but flushing anyways. To cover up his embarrassment, he put the plastic bag filled with the plush bear parts on the sofa next to Daehyun. “I found you a job.”
They spent their remaining daylight time examining the bears, while Youngjae tried teaching Daehyun how to sew and they laughed together at how Daehyun sucked so badly at it. Finally Daehyun shooed Youngjae to his room to study the orgo he hadn’t touched all weekend, with the promise of a hot cup of tea to be delievered. “I’ll be okay,” he reassured Youngjae. “And naked,” he added as a threat when Youngjae hesitated to leave.
*
Daehyun astounded Youngjae with the speed that he picked up the sewing. Mrs. Kwon was happy with the sewing job, and continually provided him with things to take back to Daehyun. With the addition of Daehyun’s small but steady income, it became apparent that Youngjae didn’t need a second job. He also took care of the house chores, and Youngjae found himself with extra time for once. And that extra time, the two spent together.
After he figured out that Youngjae was doing things out of the genuineness of his heart, Daehyun inherited a lot of Youngjae’s old things, including the old Gameboy Youngjae hadn’t touched for a while. Youngjae taught Daehyun how to play, and Daehyun started coming home with stories about battling Pokemon with the little kids from the playground.
Youngjae even bought a cell phone for Daehyun so they could keep in contact while they were apart. It was a clunky old phone because that was all he could afford, but the way Daehyun treated it, he could’ve sworn it was made out of gold.
What pleased Youngjae the most was how Daehyun started filling out. His eyes were no longer too big for his face, and Youngjae felt more than bones when he wrestled Daehyun for the last of the snacks (he always let Daehyun win those anyways). The look in his eyes also softened, and sorrow was an expression that became less and less frequent. Sometimes, he’d feel a pang in his heart looking at the new healthy Daehyun, but he would always push that out of his head.
*
“Can I come to your class?” Daehyun asked one day, and Youngjae let him. It was a terrible idea, really. Daehyun got bored, not understanding the chemical reactions, and started poking Youngjae and imitating the professor’s accent in a high-pitched voice that was supposed to sound like a woman. It wasn’t funny at all, he wanted to say, but it was incredibly difficult for Youngjae to keep a straight face and concentrate on what was being said in class, and for the first time in his life, got called out to “share with the class what was so entertaining, Mr. Yoo.”
“I hope you know you got me into trouble,” Youngjae muttered as they shuffled out of class. He didn’t want to be caught talking to the air, so he looked ahead and kept his voice low. Daehyun just smirked and poked Youngjae again, causing him to jerk to the side. “Sorry,” he said, apologizing to the people around who gave him weird looks.
They stopped by the library before Youngjae’s afternoon class. “I have to study, so behave yourself, alright?” Youngjae said to Daehyun. He got a few minutes of peace, but Daehyun got bored again and he had no better luck than in class.
“Youngjae-ah.” Poke. “Youngjae-ah.” Poke. “Youngjae-pabo.” Poke.
“What?” Youngjae nearly shouted, clapping a hand to his mouth when the librarian glared at him. He looked up at Daehyun, and whatever anger he had melted when he saw the ridiculous face Daehyun was making. He burst out laughing, and received another death glare by the librarian.
Before they could disturb the quiet library even further, Youngjae packed up his notes and dragged Daehyun outside. “Can you please try to find another way to entertain yourself in my next class?”
Daehyun looked chagrined. Youngjae hadn’t ever really gotten mad at him, and this was close enough to count. “Okay,” he said. Daehyun was a brat sometimes, but he had never broken a promise, so Youngjae went to his next class relieved.
Halfway through the class, Daehyun was being mericifully quiet, and Youngjae was about to praise Daehyun for it when he noticed that he was the only student actively listening in class. The girl two seats down had a dreamy look on her face, and was that drool on her chin? The other students weren’t as bad, but they all had unfocused gazes. He looked over at Daehyun, who had his face in his hands, smiling mischievously.
What are you doing? Youngjae scribbled furiously on his notebook and shoved it under Daehyun’s nose.
“Daydreams,” Daehyun replied. “You know when I showed you my mind that night?” Youngjae remembered. “Apparently that’s the only thing I can still do in my human body, but all I’m doing is amplifying what they’re already thinking about,” he said.
Turn it off, Youngjae wrote, underlining it a couple of times. Daehyun pouted and buried his head in his arms, but the girl with the drool blinked a couple of times, and wiped her face hurriedly, acting as if nobody saw her. “Thanks,” Youngjae whispered.
When the class finally ended, Youngjae punched Daehyun in the shoulder. “I’m never taking you to school ever again.” Daehyun pouted, and Youngjae questioned whether he could stick to his word or not.
*
Halfway through the summer when the weather turned oppressively hot, Youngjae’s mother wrote him asking for him to visit home. “Do you want to meet my brothers?” Youngjae asked Daehyun at dinner that night. He wasn’t sure why it seemed so natural for Daehyun to meet his family, he was just the first one Youngjae thought of when he received the letter.
Daehyun was all for the idea, and he nodded enthusiastically, even pausing in his eating to tell Youngjae what a great idea that was. “Great,” Youngjae grinned. “I can’t wait for you to try my mom’s cooking.”
Daehyun was uncharacteristically quiet, and the clacking of his chopsticks against his bowl stopped. “Youngjae-ah…your mom won’t be able to see me.”
Youngjae expected that, but he still wanted to try. “But I can see you, and my mom’s a much better person than I am,” he said hopefully, but Daehyun shook his head.
“When you come of age, even you won’t be able to see me,” Daehyun said. Youngjae’s heart sank. He had never thought that there might be a day when Daehyun would disappear forever. He was turning 20 in half a year.
“Youngjae-ah,” Daehyun said gently, setting down his chopsticks. “Do you know why you can see me now? Do you know what purity of heart means?” Youngjae shook his head. “It means you haven’t had any thoughts that define you as a self-sufficient ‘adult.’ You aren’t able to fend for yourself because you haven’t ever had a selfish thought.”
“But I am so selfish,” Youngjae said. “I’m studying what I want to study, making my mom take care of my brothers by herself.”
Daehyun snorted. “Probably for some noble cause, like saving lives, or being able to support your mother in the future or something,” he said, his eyes curving with amusement. “Anyways, even though you haven’t defined yourself as an adult yet, once society does for you, you won’t be able to see me anymore.”
Youngjae’s heart felt like lead dropping into his stomach, and he was confused. He had no idea what he had expected. Now that he knew what to expect, he had no idea what to do for the rest of their limited time together. At that moment though, he knew he wanted to share with Daehyun as much of his life as he could. “You’re meeting my brothers.”
(part 2)
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And thanks for reading and commenting ^^♥
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